Let's Talk Dirty: Part 2....or a Devil's Playground

Slacker.  Perish the thought!  We don't want to act like one, neither do we want our children to exhibit those behaviors.  So what do some parents do?  Monday: Karate, Tuesday: piano, Wednesday: art, Thursday: Kumon, Friday: _____.  Some of you lapsed into your favorite Asian accent as you read that, didn't you?  (I went for a Bombay-Pune hybrid with British undertones-very sophisticated).  And there are plenty of non-Asian parents out there subjecting their children to this schedule too.  You know who you are!  Even though I'm smiling right now, I feel their pain.  There is a great deal of angst in me about not scheduling more enrichment for my children (we'll call it 'enrichment' rather than the thought that flickers through my head: the 'how to get into college' list of activities).

Connected to the messy conversation, from my last post, is the down-time conversation.  There is plenty of data to suggest that down-time is essential to processing and integrating information.  And beyond that of course we understand intellectually that peaceful, non-scheduled moments are essential to being a happy person.  A person who is comfortable in their skin. An adult who is happy being in their own home, quietly listening to music, or reading a book, or painting.

Some parents are surprised that their children don't know how to just be without a screen (laptop, netbook, smart phone, computer, iTouch, iPad, tv, etc).  But are you modeling that for them?  Do your children see you living that way?  And are you actually giving your child the gift of time to explore all the wonderful, quiet adventures life has to offer?

Some of my bff''s - B, M, and J helped me learn these beautiful lessons.  I give thanks for them - well several times a day! -every time my 11 year old daughter T tells me what animals she sees in the clouds and shows me song lyrics she's written. Or when my 15 year old son A comes barreling down the stairs, babbling about needing transistors for something he's inventing and could I please drive him to Radio Shack? The unscheduled moments are when the kids talk to me, spontaneously sit down at the piano together and create a duet, hover with me in the kitchen to assist with dinner or wait to lick a beater laden with cookie dough.  And that's the good stuff.  The important stuff they'll always remember.

Anna Quindlen, in a Mother's Day article several years ago, wrote something I will never forget:  apparently she called one of her son's and said she was writing this article and what was one of his  happiest memories of her.  And he said, without hesitation, making her laugh. Apparently he and his sibs all felt this way.  After everything and all those years,  her children remembered most and loved the best, making her laugh!  It's a beautiful lesson for all of us.  Embrace your inner slacker with your loved ones today - even if for a little while.  Give yourself and the people around you that gift.