Let's Talk Dirty......

As I mentioned earlier, I'm not a terribly neat person.  And I believe there is a direct correlation between being a bit messy and happy, creative children.  This is one of my goals as a parent: that my children be happy.  Hopefully they'll be able to feed themselves, have a roof over their heads, become productive and giving members of society....and laugh often.  (I'm interested to see if my theory bears out in practice once my kids start applying to colleges/jobs/internships...or if I'm just a huge proponent of a theory until I have to apply it to my own life! Stay tuned)

But often I struggle with being messy.  My people conduct their lives using a host of rituals centered around cleanliness.  Now, I can't speak for all 1 billion on the sub-continent, nor the diaspora, but I'll tell you my personal experience.  Some of the rules with which I grew up:  clip finger and toe nails over a garbage can and never, ever leave them around the house, bathe daily in the morning, eliminate your bowels in the morning, eat food with your right hand (the left is used only for cleaning up after using the toilet), hand money to people only with your right hand, and never wear shoes inside the home (have dedicated indoor slippers which are never worn outside), for example.

Ahhhhh, but messiness.  By dear friend B (you'll get to know all my precious girlfriends eventually) is directly responsible for helping me embrace the messy more firmly and incorporate it in my parenting theory and practice.  Encouraging my children to get their hands dirty in the garden, planting with their father, exhorting them to cover innumerable pages with water colors and pencil scribblings,  laughing as I watched them dance in the rain.  Yes, yes,  yes, sometimes it's a complete pain.  I screamed when I found permanent marker on the walls or paint on the carpet.  But B and others talked me down off the ledge.

So that's the external messiness.  But I think learning to explore and manage the internal messiness is important too.  Digging deep to explore feelings and thoughts.  Being able to express those feelings and thoughts and delving into how to cope with them.  Understanding that life is messiness - ambiguities and multiple realities - and learning how to hold those gently and with patience, I believe goes a long way in leading a fabulous, authentic, and healthy life.  I need to remind myself of these facts as I attempt to reconcile the messy Desi (Indian) in me with all the pieces of the complicated person I am.

Thanks to all who read and tried to post yesterday.  I'm still working on the issue (in-house tech support was very helpful and adorable!)  but I have a couple things you might try if you'd like to post responses:

I logged in as someone else and was able to post....so I'm hoping these ideas work for a few of you.  Otherwise, until we can fix it for all people, please do feel free to msg me or dialog on FB.

When you look at my post, near the bottom, by Posted by Gita Baliga-Savel at 4:37 PM, 
there should be a pencil icon or a phrase that says '1 comment'.  I was able to click on those
and a box popped up in which to compose.  I wrote the word 'test' .  Directly beneath that box it says, "comment as" with a drop down menu.  I'm hoping one of those options works for your world.  I chose Google and was directed to log into my Google account.  Then, I hit the Publish button below it.  Hoping that works for you.  Though I have never blogged before, I think one of the most important pieces is the sharing of information/emotions/ideas/creativity.  So I do need to hear from people!

Today I prepared a  piece about the importance of messiness.  But I decided to table that topic once I began watching the inauguration coverage.  I feel passionately about being an American, about living here, about our political process. Yeah, of course it all makes me crazy sometimes.  But we live here where we can shout about how crazy it makes us without fear of reprisal.  That's a lovely thing.

There were two quotes I heard today which I wanted to share because they moved me so deeply.  Senator Lamar Alexander of TN quoted author Alex Haley:  "Find the good; embrace it."  And one I saw on FB today attributed to Dr Martin Luther King, Jr.:  "Life's most persistent and urgent question is, What are you doing for others?"

As many people in the nation come together for a Day of Service, I'm thinking about finding good, embracing it, and turning those thoughts and feelings inside me into doing for others.  Many of us feel stretched too thin; that life is just rushing by and we barely have time to do for ourselves and our families, let alone others.  But perhaps we're just setting the bar too high.  Next time you're in the store, maybe just pick up an extra pack of tissues or pencils for your child's or grandchild's or friend's child's classroom, bring your neighbor's paper from the driveway to their door, or - one of my fav things to do - pay for the person behind you in line for coffee at the drive through ( definitely stole that from somewhere/someone! Just say, "I want to pay for the drink order of the car behind me").  In our district, teachers have to purchase their own copy paper.  Seriously.  So I noticed the Office Depot ad for 10 reams of paper being on sale and picked one up for our school.  But the kind of good we can put out in the world doesn't have to cost money - the free kind is amazing.  Maybe thinking of BEING a Dr King overwhelms us and we end up doing nothing for too long.  Maybe we can just be a deeper, more meaningful us and that will be more than enough.

Thinking of posting once or twice a week.
Thanks for reading y'all!

Thanks for tuning in!  I'm Gita and I'm interested in sharing about parenting, relationships, career, music, sport, writing, cooking, women's issues, girlfriends and more.  My worldview is inextricably linked to my heritage as a Desi - Indian.  My identity as a woman, amma (mom) , and wife, are colored by that lens.  Sometimes being dual ( U.S. / Desi)  rocks and sometimes it complicates things more than necessary - like most things in life which are important to us.

I'm fat.  Let's just get that out of the way.  I'm sometimes messy.  I'm not messy because I'm fat, but because I think it makes me a better Amma.  Nobody's giving me props for either of those attributes.  I'm pretty cool with that most of the time.

Reading and writing are passions of mine for which I choose not to make enough time.  I'm hoping to make different choices starting now.

More tomorrow.  Thanks for reading y'all!
G